I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
she pinky promised me she was 18
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
