Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
