after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
