y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
