I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
