You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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