I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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