I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize