i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
as a side note pls kill me
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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