He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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