This dress was meant to end up on your floor
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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