Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
