i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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