the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
