i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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