i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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