Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
we should paint friendship bongs
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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