She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
