I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
