Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
