Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You may now shotgun with the bride
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
