marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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