The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
