where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
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