my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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