this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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