I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
