it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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