your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
