I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
