I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
