the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
