Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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