i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
