woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize