When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
