yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
