Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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