i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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