Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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