Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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