so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
