so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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