my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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