is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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