Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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