FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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