She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
