so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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