Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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