youre lurking in front of me
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
