I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
