Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
