Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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