My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize