He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
