i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
