actually, I'm a sock model
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
