I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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