call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
