Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
