did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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