Its about making memories worth repressing
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
