Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
