pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
