I think im going to throw up on grandma
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
