So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
