you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
