ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize